Beach Vacations on the Spectrum

 The last time Wyatt went to the beach, he had just turned one. He wasn’t walking yet, just starting to crawl a little. At the time, we didn’t have an autism diagnosis yet, but we already knew he was a little behind in some areas.

Even so, we were so excited to take him on his first beach vacation. There’s something about the idea of the beach with your child that feels magical.... the sand, the waves, the sunshine, the memories you imagine making.

The road trip down went great. Wyatt did really well in the car, and we even stopped to see some family along the way. Everything felt like it was going exactly how we hoped it would.

Then we finally made it to the beach.

I remember setting him down in the sand for the first time, and almost immediately realizing… this might not go how I pictured it. I’m planning on attaching a photo to this post because you can literally see the disgust written all over his face.

He hated the sand.

At the time, Wyatt’s main way of self-soothing was rubbing his face. So every time he tried to calm himself down, he would rub his sandy hands across his face.. which of course only made things worse. Sand everywhere. In his eyes, in his mouth, all over him.

We tried bringing him down to the beach a few more times during the trip, hoping maybe he’d warm up to it. But each time ended the same way.... he was uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and clearly not enjoying it.

Eventually, we stopped trying so hard.

We spent most of the vacation up by the pool instead of the ocean.

And honestly… I was pretty sad about it.

Not because I needed the beach experience to be perfect, but because I had imagined it so differently.

Now here we are, almost four years later.

Wyatt is almost five, and Sophia is two.

We’re planning another beach trip at the end of March, and this time the emotions feel very different. Part of me is excited. But a much bigger part of me is anxious.

I worry Wyatt will still hate the sand.

I worry he’ll get overwhelmed.

I worry he’ll take off running down the beach and I won’t be able to catch him.

So I’ve been preparing the best I can.

I bought little handheld sand removers that brush sand off your skin, just in case he starts rubbing his face again. I packed the safety harnesses in case we need them. I’ve been trying to think through every possible scenario ahead of time.

And still… the anxiety is there.

Because when you parent a child on the spectrum, vacations don’t always feel like vacations. They feel like planning, preparing, problem solving, and constantly staying on high alert.

But here’s the truth I’m trying to remind myself of.

I am exhausted....

Emotionally.

Physically.

Mentally.

Like so many special needs parents, I’m burnt out.

My body needs a break. My mind needs a break. Our family needs time together somewhere outside of appointments, therapies, routines, and the daily weight that can come with raising a child with complex needs.

And Sophia deserves the chance to experience the beach too.

So we’re going.

Not expecting perfection.

Not expecting a picture perfect vacation.

Just hoping for moments.

Maybe Wyatt will tolerate the sand this time.

Maybe he’ll even enjoy the water.

Maybe he’ll surprise us.

Or maybe he won’t... and we’ll spend more time at the pool again.

But we’ll still be together. And maybe that’s enough.

If you’re someone who prays, please pray for us. Pray that this trip goes smoothly for Wyatt. Pray that we can all relax a little.

Because we really, really need this.