The Guilt of Vacations without Kids

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 This is something not many parents talk about.. vacationing without your kids. Whether you’re a parent of a child with special needs or not, there’s a unique kind of guilt that creeps in the moment you decide to take that trip.


Recently, my husband and I had the opportunity to get away for a few days. The kids stayed home with their grandma, who loves them dearly and takes amazing care of them. By all accounts, everything was fine. The kids were safe, loved, and happy.


But there I was, lying in a hotel bed, scrolling through pictures of Wyatt and Sophia, and my heart hurt.


On one hand, I wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to relax, have fun, and soak in the much-needed break. Parenting...especially parenting a child with severe autism - can be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. We tell ourselves we deserve this time.

On the other hand, I missed them so much it almost ached. I kept thinking:

Are they okay? Do they miss me? Do they know how much I love them?


The guilt sat heavy on my chest, even when I was doing something as simple as eating dinner or taking a walk on the beach.


When you’re a special needs parent, the guilt is amplified. We already feel like the world doesn’t always understand our children, so leaving them - even with someone who loves them - feels like we’re abandoning the one person who needs us most. I worried about Wyatt’s routines, his comfort, his happiness. Would he be okay without me there to interpret his needs?

But you know what? He is okay. Sophia is okay. They are safe, loved, and cared for.

Here’s what I realized: It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to feel guilty. But it’s also okay to take time for yourself. Our kids deserve happy, healthy parents who come back refreshed and recharged.

Taking a vacation doesn’t mean you love them any less. In fact, it means you love them enough to take care of yourself, so you can come home and be the best version of yourself for them.


So, to any parent sitting on a beach or in a hotel room missing your babies .. allow yourself to feel both. Love them, miss them, but also give yourself permission to enjoy the moment you’re in.


When I get home, those hugs will be even sweeter 💕


Kerri


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